our world and into a place of neutrality. Sufi poet Rumi eloquently
invites us there with these words...
"Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a
field. I will meet you there."
Intuitively, at least, most of us are aware that feelings like
love and joy, gratitude and appreciation have a positive impact on
our bodies while unresolved anger, hurt and guilt have the opposite
effect. It makes sense, therefore, to find a way to transform those
experiences that hurt us into experiences that do not. That's where
blessing comes in.
In his book, "Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer" author Gregg
Braden defines blessing as an "emotional lubricant", because, like
a healing balm, it allows us to free the hurtful and unresolved
emotions we feel rather than stuffing them down inside where, like
acid, they only serve to erode and embitter. "To lubricate our
emotions, "Braden writes, "we must acknowledge (bless) all aspects
of those hurtful things: such as those who suffer, the cause of the
suffering and those who witness the outcome.
"I often find at this point in any discussion of what a blessing
is," he continues, "that it's important to be very clear about what
it is not. When we bless someone who's hurt us, clearly we aren't
suggesting that what has happened is okay or that we'd like it to
happen again. Blessing doesn't condone or make excuses for any
atrocity or act of suffering. It doesn't put a stamp of approval on
a hurtful event, or suggest that we would ever choose to
re-experience it.
"What blessing does do is free us from our painful experiences. It
acknowledges that those events, whatever they were, have occurred.
When we do so, our feelings about those experiences move through
our bodies instead of getting stuck inside them. In this way,
blessing is the key to reaching Rumi's field beyond wrongdoing and
right doing. Blessing is the key to accessing the space between. It
temporarily suspends our hurt long enough so that we can replace it
with another feeling.
"...the single act of blessing gives you the power to change your
life," Braden adds. "And it does so in a heartbeat! When we can
make our choices and offer our prayers from a place of strength and
clarity, rather than from the weakness of rage and hurt, something
wonderful begins to happen.
"Sounds too simple to work? Such a powerful tool can be as simple
or as difficult as we choose to make it. The reason that blessing
works so well is easy to understand. It's impossible to judge
something while we're blessing it at the same time. Our minds won't
allow us to do both things at once."
How can you expect me to bless the person who has
singlehandedly made my life a living hell for the past six months?
The question is a good one and the answer deceptively simple. When
life hurts, we can deal with the pain by replaying the hurtful act
or situation over and over again in our minds, or stuffing it deep
down inside where silently and insidiously it continues to eat away
at our emotional core until it eventually destroys us completely.
Or we can choose to heal by simply acknowledging the hurt and then
letting it go, moving on with life with the understanding that we
are far greater than whatever pain we might feel in any given
moment. The choice is ours. And, as Braden points out, "If we
choose the healing, blessing is the path."
The truth is that the "living hell" is not
the result of what someone else did , but of her reaction to what
someone else did. chose to accept the actions of
the other person as having happened and then determined to move
beyond it, to that field beyond wrong and right doing of which Rumi
speaks.
It is our thinking that determines the rightness or
wrongness of any given situation as much as the situation itself.
And even if, in our thinking, we determine that something bad has
happened, we are still given the option of holding it to us in the
form of unresolved emotion or letting it go and moving on toward
life.
When we bless, we make the second choice. Essentially, we say "OK,
this really awful thing has happened. But as long as I keep
thinking about it, rehashing it in my mind, retelling it to any and
all who will listen, then it will keep on happening. And I don't
want that. So, instead, I am going to bless this entire experience
and every person in it and then I'm going to let it go. I am going
to accept that it has happened, determined that with my blessing
something beneficial will rise out of it, and then I am going to
move on with my life, because I really, truly am far bigger than
this thing that has happened to me. I will prevail.
" And I am also going to bless the perpetrator of this situation
because if I don't, that means I am still sitting in judgment over
him, still labeling him as "bad" and unworthy of a blessing, and as
long as I do that, I am caught in my own act of condemnation just
as surely as he is. So, instead, I choose to free us both. He is
blessed. I am blessed, We are blessed. And in this way, I am
choosing freedom from every hell this experience would bring me and
fully embracing whatever slice of heaven it holds, instead."
In order to do this, we must first be willing to confront our own
inner belief systems. We may find ourselves faced with questioning
an entire life-time of conditioning and old worn-out thought forms
that tell us we must get even, defeat every foe and right every
wrong, In order to move beyond these barriers to blessing we have
to get to the point where we are ready to choose healing above all
else. When we are finally willing to give up all the old beliefs
and judgments that have kept us trapped, the the true blessing work
can begin.
Quietly confront your own inner belief system. Ask yourself if you
are honestly willing to suspend every judgment, every condemnation,
every necessity to make the world go "your way". Today's
affirmation allows you to pose the question simply and directly.
Repeat the affirmation, and then wait for the answer to arise from
within. Record your answer and any subsequent questions, doubts or
concerns it may to mind in your Blessing Way Journal. There are no
right or wrong answers to this question or to any of the questions
posed in the Blessing Way Challenge. The purpose of this exercise,
as well as all others is simply to make
you more aware of where you are in your own thinking processes, so
please do not fret. Just answer the question as honestly as you can
and record the answer and any other thoughts it might bring to mind.
Today's affirmation:
"What if I am willing to bless my world, no matter what I see?"
Today's quote:
"The key to the success of blessing is that it acknowledges
everything from the one who hurts, to the one who is hurting."
-- Gregg Braden
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